One Surprisingly Simple Shift to Unlock Uncommonly Effective One-on-One Meetings

Cancel Culture

It's 15 minutes before your one-on-one check-in with one of your reports, and you get an urgent call from your boss.

"I'll cancel just this one time," you tell yourself.

But when you zoom out, you realize that one time has actually been a couple of times this past month. And this month is really no different than any month.

Even worse? The easiest ones to cancel on are your best people. You tell yourself, "They've got it all handled. They didn't need me anyway."

And you're right in a way. Because they won't need you for long. In fact, they won't be with you for long.

Because the easiest way to erode the trust you worked so hard to build is to cancel the one meeting exclusively devoted to supporting them.

And what you do (vs. what you say) is your culture.

So if you do nothing else: Stop canceling.

You can check out some other common meeting mistakes I wrote about recently.

And if any of those are tripping you up, I have one more for you:

Thinking it's your meeting.

Make It Their Meeting

With one simple change, you reset the entire operating system of your team. 

Instead of them feeling like a pawn in your game, they're now the Chessmaster.

And you're a powerful piece for them to use to achieve their goals.

The first objection I get usually sounds like, "No way. I need to know what they're working on." I promise you can make it their meeting and still get this intel.

In fact, by giving this responsibility to them, you're likely to get better information than before.

Because there is no way to own this meeting without fully owning their job.

How did I get my directs to take ownership?

Good Questions >> Great Answers

While it can be unnerving to let go, relinquishing ownership of this meeting is really no different than delegating any other work.

I found the easiest way to align on expectations with my team was to preview the questions I wanted them to be able to answer.

If they could answer these well, I could have confidence that they were managing their area (even as an individual contributor) excellently.

How are you doing?

Want people to produce outsized results? You need to care personally. You'll only know when to show up for them if you know them well. Get a stock response? Ask again.

What do you think we should focus on?

If it is their meeting, they set the agenda. Not only are you empowering them, but you also get to learn how they think. This will help you anticipate what they might miss.

How are you tracking against your goals?

I want data. Clear metrics. The more tangible, the better. If the goal isn't easily measured, then I want a few qualitative angles that are in tension to surface the truth.

Are there notable Wins/Losses we should discuss?

The specific Win or Loss doesn't matter to me as much as a) Can they separate big from small? and b) Are they proactively sharing, or did my probing uncover it?

What problems are you focused on solving?

I don't expect perfection if we're driving hard and creating value. Instead, I want them to have command of their area. Do they know the problems? Do the solutions make sense?

How are you people doing?

Your people are only as good as those that support them. Even individual contributors rely on others. Get them in the habit of sizing up those around them. Make empathy a habit.

How are you getting better?

When your team is filled with curious and compounding professionals, the result is a team that's agile and resilient. Create space for ample coaching of those coaching others.

How can I support your success?

Hopefully, you've uncovered plenty of options along the way, but it never hurts to ask them directly, "What else do you need to win?" Provide resources. Remove obstacles. Repeat.

A Shared Vision

To make these meetings more efficient for both of us, I asked them to maintain a simple dashboard.

I found three benefits in using a standard format across my team:

1. I have surface area to ask helpful probing questions.

2. Their peers can easily engage in other areas on the team.

3. A simple summary on top of them lets me keep my manager updated.

Feel free to download and customize a copy to meet your team's needs.

Let The Data Decide

Curious if this could work for your direct reports.

Why not forward them this email and ask them what they'd change in this playbook to try it for a month?

• Worst Case: You learn a little more about how they like to be managed.

• Best Case: You upgrade your team's operating system.

They are more empowered, and you get more leverage.

And now you're not just managing. You're leading.

Last Call or First Call?

On Tuesday, October 5th, we kick off the 12th cohort of the MGMT Accelerator. If you miss this section, you'll have to wait until 2024.

Those who do join us will build foundational components of their leadership system:

• Use vivid pictures of your people to coach and develop

• Effectively diagnose problems to root cause

• Co-author empowering expectations

• Sharpen your management brand

• Delegate and monitor work

• Recruit 1 in 10,000 talent

The MGMT Playbook community always gets first priority. And right now, they also get 10% off with code PLAYBOOK10 at checkout. 

We Need Your Input

We want the MGMT Playbook to help you win. So help us help you.

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