Nice Isn't The Goal: Why You Should Create More Conflict At Work

Read Time: 3 minutes 

I wrote a post on LinkedIn that got a lot of buzz.

I said most teams would benefit from more conflict. Not less.

As you read through the 100+ comments, you'll notice that not a single person disagreed with this notion. Not one.

And yet...

• We shy away from candid feedback

• We hire people who tend to agree with us

• We rarely diagnose a problem to the root cause

Because conflict makes us uncomfortable.

Forced to choose between harm and harmony, most of us will seek peace.

But what if that's a false choice?

What if the conversations we're avoiding are the ones we need to have?

What if we could separate brutal, winner-takes-all conflict from collaborative, positive-sum innovation born from diversity and dissent?

Yeah, I'd want to work there, too.

Let's try.

Separating Good from Bad

Part of the problem is that not all conflict is created equal.

Take one extreme. A "conflict entrepreneur" stokes unnecessary conflict exclusively to build their own power.

You don't want these characters in your cast.

But in our effort to avoid these characters, we often send signals that all conflict is destructive. And without clearly articulating your culture's operating principles - the ones that appropriately guide thoughtful disagreements - most people will steer clear.

Remember: most of them don't like conflict in the first place.

Here's my simple rubric

• Intention: Building up or tearing down?

• Communication: Curious or furious?

• Execution: Heated or repeated?

Stay on the left side of those choices and keep it cool ;)

Now, let's shake the snow globe and get more of the good stuff.

3 Tactics to Cultivate Constructive Conflict

The Alignment Pyramid

At Bridgewater, I regularly mediated disputes.

I quickly learned that if you open the floor to two entrenched people, they'll immediately retake their battle positions.

Instead, I'd lead the conversation, starting at the top of the pyramid and methodically working my way down: