Why Great Leaders Get People Wrong (And How to Get Them Right)

Read Time: 3 minutes.

My friend Justin Su’a wrote this post recently:

It didn’t get the engagement it deserved, but that doesn’t make it any less profound.

If anything, it probably didn’t get engagement because it forces us to reckon with the reality of just how easy this trap is to fall into.

This is called, “the fundamental attribution error.”

It’s our tendency to judge ourselves by our intentions but judge others by their actions.

And it’s easy to see why leaders fall into this trap:

Assuming good intent when people underdeliver requires curiosity and courage.
Assuming their inherent flaws led to their inevitable underperformance is easier.

And it got me thinking how often I do this:

• With my family

• With my team

• With everyone

But before we can address any problem, we have to learn to spot it.

Here are some quick example I heard from leaders in our most recent MGMT Accelerator:

The Performance Trap
↳ They: Miss a deadline.
↳ You think: "They're lazy!"
↳ Reality: Their resources were cut.

The Quiet One
↳ They: Rarely speak up.
↳ You think: "Not a team player!"
↳ Reality: Previous ideas were dismissed.

The Late Arrival 
↳ They: Miss morning meetings .
↳ You think: "Unprofessional!"
↳ Reality: Caring for sick parent.

The Resistance 
↳ They: Question new processes.
↳ You think: "Difficult personality!"
↳ Reality: Seeing real problems.

The Quick Exit
↳ They: Leave at 5 PM sharp.
↳ You think: "Not an owner!"
↳ Reality: Maximum efficiency.

The truth about judgment:

• We blame others' failures on their character

• We blame our own on circumstance

And both instincts destroy trust.

Breaking The Pattern: Lead With Curiosity

The next time you feel that instinctive judgment forming, pause and:

Ask First, Decide Later
↳ "Help me understand what happened?"
↳ "Walk me through your thinking here."
↳ "What challenges are you running into?"

Let Them Self-Assess
↳ "How do you feel about how this is going?"
↳ "What would you do differently next time?"
↳ "Where do you think you need more support?"

Share Your Observation (Not Your Judgment)
↳ "I noticed [specific behavior]."
↳ "Talk me through your perspective"
↳ "This seems different from your usual approach"

Worst case: we’ll generate more data that supports our hypothesis.
Common case: they’ll feel heard and own their improvement.
Best case: you’ll uncover the real source of the issue.

But that’s only half of the issue with Fundamental Attribution Error.

The other half is how you see yourself.

The Harder Truth: Looking Inward

Before we can truly lead others, we need to recognize our own patterns:

Our Hidden Drivers
↳ Are we judging others harshly in areas where we judge ourselves?
↳ Are past experiences coloring our current reactions?
↳ Are we projecting our fears onto others' actions?

Our Blind Spots
↳ Where do we give ourselves grace but withhold it from others?
↳ What stories do we tell ourselves about our own shortcomings?
↳ How often do we allow circumstances to absolve us of ownership?

If you want to break the pattern:

• Keep a decision journal

• Ask ChatGPT review your transcripts

• Hire a coach (note: I have one slot opening next month)

Remember:

Great leaders know that their judgment is often mirror.
What we see in others often reveals more about what we see in ourselves.

What You Missed This Week

Did you miss last week’s MGMT Minute?

Learn how to calculate your hourly rate to ensure you’re driving maximum impact (hint: you’re probably not).

Or, why not check out today’s posts:

📌 How to Interview Your Manager (Before Taking a New Job) (Dave)
📌 7 Ways to Amplify Appreciation (Mar)

And here are our most popular posts last week:

1. 11 Harsh Truths No One Tells You (Mar)

2. 13 Visuals to Shift Your Mindset (Dave)

3. How to Cancel Half of Your Meetings (Mar)

4. The 5-Minute Ritual To Make Your Team Unstoppable (Dave) - free template

5. How to Make Better Decisions Faster (Mar)

6. 7 Habits of High-Performing Teams (Dave)

Our goal is to build a community of 1 million thoughtful, curious leaders.

Your ♻️ reposts on any or all of the above are always appreciated.  

Thank you for reading. Appreciate you!

Dave & Mar

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